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My husband of 19 years was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer this past March 09, he is 49 and I am 47, we have 3 children ages 26,18,and our only son,Ethan 4.Perry(my husband) has been going through the most aggressive chemo and it is taking its toll. He has gone from 210lbs to 138lbs in 3 months. Our 4 year old son cannot understand what is happening to his daddy. I have tried to explain to him as gently as i could about cancer but he just covers his ears and screams, he says " mommy,just...

 
My Updates
  • November 10, 2009
  • Passing of my hero

    On November4,2009, my husband Perry succumbed to cancer. His fight was strong and his will stronger, but this horrifing illness won. We miss him terribly.    Judy Bielik, Perry's wife 

  • July 11, 2009
  • Treatment stopped...for now..so God, help

    As of 7-6-09, Perry's treatment has been put on hold for 1 month so he can gain some weight and just recoup. He made it through 5 out of his 6 very aggressive treatments, although he insisted to finish. His doctor made the right choice. He is just now coming out of the chemo fog and eating like never before ( he lost almost 100 lbs. and is litterally skin and bones ). I just can't get out of this terrible depression that has enveloped me. I am so afraid of loosing him it consumes me. It is like I am mourning him and he is still alive!! I know I have to be strong for our children...especially our 5 year old son, but sometimes I don't want to go on. Miracles DO happen..DON'T THEY??? Please God give us a miracle. I know there are people that have it worse than us and I apologize for my whining, it's uncalled for. We have been together for so long, he was my first boyfriend, and is now not only my husband but my true love. Please God, show mercy, don't take my childrens father from them and my soulmate from me...he is a kind and loving person and we need him with us, I will do whatever you ask...just please.

  • May 26, 2009
  • End of 4th treatment

    Today my husband ended his 4th chemo treatment with a new med(for him) called Xeloda.It went alittle easier than the pump he used to have in his port for 5 consecutive days but he is still is sick to his stomach and really can't eat much of anything.All the meds he has for nausea don't seem to work. Any ideas? He has lost 70lbs now and his doctor says he needs to put on weight in order to move on to his next line of treatment. He has 2 more treatments of chemo left before this cycle ends. I just don't know what to do!! 

Guestbook
jkjones wrote Thank you for caring
on 08-16-2009 10:53 PM

 Judy, It has been so hard since I lost Chuck onf August 4th. Remember he was going through stomach cancer just like your husband. I actually think chuck just starved to death because he could not eat. I hope that your husband is doing better. The last two weeks of my husband's life we had hospice. I do not know what I would have done. chuck needed around the clock care. My son, Trent, was really good to help me. Although he is only 20 years old, he did well. However, right now it is very hard on him. We both miss his dad so much. I am not going back to teaching until August 24th. I hope that I can go back then. He has been gone for two weeks and my stomach still feels like a bowl of jello all the time. He died at home. However, he was in so much pain. The last two weeks of his life were so painful. I am glad that I have you talk too. Beleive me, this is the hardest thing that I have ever had to talk to anybody about. I will keep in touch with you.

Love,

Judy (Chuck's Wife)

jkjones wrote latest report on my husband
on 08-07-2009 11:38 PM

 

Judy,

I am so sorry that I haven't gotten back to you. My husband lost his battle with stomach cancer on August 4th. The loneliness is awful. I feel so empty. Chuck  was in so much pain at the end. He probably did not weigh 80 lbs when he died. He died at home like he wanted to. I have to tell myself that he is out of pain. But I am suffering so much grief. Stomach cancer is really bad because you cannot eat. I tend to believe he died more of starvation. His body just started deterating. It sounds like you husband has been having difficulty eating also. My husband could not take chemo because he was to thin. I know how you feel when you say that you are depressed. I feel like half of me no longer exists. I know that my life will never be the same. I will try to keep in touch with you more. It sounds like we really need to talk to each other. I am on a leave from school for at least another week or so. There is no way that I could go back to work this soon after his death. Please keep me informed about your husband. I know that I will keep in touch more because hopefully it will help talking to someone going through the same thing. Cancer took my husband way to soon. He was 57. We still had our retirement years to do things together. I just feel so lonely. I have been told that it will just take time. Please keep in touch.

Love,

Judy from Tennessee

on 07-24-2009 3:46 PM

 Sorry for noy getting back to you. We have been very busy with doctors appointments for the both of us. My husband has to go for tests now . He had diabetes with complication, and inflamation of the liver and pacreas. He goes for an MRI to make sure it is not a tumor. So now we do get to take care of each other. Funny how things seem to go.

I am so sorry on how hard this is for you! I wish you the best and if I could I would give you a hug and let you know you have people in your corner. This is hard for everyone who goes through this kind of illness. It does teach you patients, humility, joy, sadness, love and a host of others. I think you are lucky to be able to take care of your husband , and share this with him and the family. I know I am lucky for this. Each day I understand more about the incredable person I call my husband. All the things he does not only for me but also his Mother who has Dementia. I help him as much as I can, but feel I cant help enough sometimes. But all in all we are a team. Just as you are with your husband and familiy. God Bless.....Pat

jkjones wrote How is your husband doing?
on 06-28-2009 1:45 PM

 I haven't kept in touch lately. How is your husband doing? It sounds like he is still fighting. My husband, Chuck, as you know also has stage 4 stomach cancer. He keeps fighting, but is still very weak. As of last week, his legs and feet were swelling. He is just real quiet now and he has lost about 50 pounds. I will keep praying that both of our husbands start having brighter days. It is nice to be able to spend the summer with my husband and not have to worry about my teaching duties. Hang in there!

Love,

Judy from Tennessee