My children are having a hard time dealing with my illness. How can I help them?

Q: My children are having a hard time dealing with my illness. How can I help them? 

A: Depending upon your children’s ages and developmental stages, there are several good resources to help you talk with them reassuringly, answer their questions, and deal with their fears. Remember, no matter what the child’s age, such conversations will be ongoing--from the time you receive your diagnosis through treatment to life after treatment.

Choose times to talk when neither you nor the children are tired or upset. You may want a family member or friend with you. In addition, your health care team should be able to recommend a social worker or family counselor who’s expert in talking with children about a parent’s illness. There are also support groups (usually hospital-based) for school-age children and teenagers coping with cancer in the family. Talk with your children’s teachers so they can support your children if problems arise at school.

The best gift you can give to your children is your honesty. When children (no matter what age) know that they can rely on the truthfulness of their parents for information, they, too, face this journey with more strength and hope.
--Kathy Newman, RN, BSN

At Caring4Cancer, you’ll find a resource list of material and organizations to help parents talk with their children.