Caring4Cancer

I am struggling with my husband's diagnosis of lung cancer.  He was diagnosed in January 2006 and I feel awful.  He was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and I have this incredible feeling of being alone.  I often find myself watching him sleep and silently thinking, I am watching my husband die, slowly and there is nothing I can do about it.  I feel so helpless.

You may consider a support group.  They have been known to help many people.

I know how you feel, I am sitting back watching my cousin die of stage 4 breast cancer. SHe has 7 children. Ages 8,7,6,5,21 months, and 8 week old twins. I pray daily that something miraculous happens so she can raise her children who so need there mother. Stay as informed as you want. Find a support group, weather it is a good group of frineds that just "pump" you up everyday or someone that you can talk to at any time. You need to be able to vent, cry, lean on, make suggestions, or get mad when ever you can. Best of wishes and God Bless you!

I too understand, my aunt who is so very dear to my was diagnosed on Christmas Day with stage 4 stomach/liver Cancer. 

We had an appt yesterday and were told there is nothing they can do it has spread to her brain and lungs and she only has a month if that to live. 

We are all shocked and devestated it is so unfair.  I guess we all thought something could be done we would at least a have year or two with her.  We have decided to have hospice come to our home and keep her comfortable, pain free for the month. 

How do you cope and deal with saying goodbye to someone you love?  I just don't know how we will get through it.  God bless you all as you through these difficult times.  Kellie

Feeling helpless is I think a normal feeling.  A friend of mine gave me the book The Secret and it has helped alot.  Target has it the least expensive.  It talks alot about positive thinking.  It is an easy read and not long.  Never say dying...miracles happen every day... I will pray for you to have strength.  They say the caregivers sometimes suffer more.  Positive thinking...:)

 I can relate to how you feel. My husband was diagnosed with liver cancer last week. His tumor has entered the portal vein, so there is no treatment. He has 3-6 months to live. He's 51 and I'm 47. We are devastated. I, also, watch him sleep sometimes and wonder how I will breathe when he is gone. I don't know what I'm going to do. I just found this support group - hope I can connect here. -Cathy

I feel your pain. I too have a husband dieing before my eyes. He was just diagnosed a few short days ago with esophigal cancer. I can't eat, can't sleep and can't quit crying. We have two little boys who are going to lose their most important person in the world. And then they will lose their house, our cars and everything that is familiar. You see I am a stay-at-home mom with no job skills who hasn't worked in 7 years and has a 1400 a month house & a 1000 a month car payments. My husband did not think he would ever need to purchase life insurance. So I feel your pain. My boys have no idea. I can barely breathe now. I wish you well.   

Judi - what stage is the cancer?

My wife is stage IV and terminal since 1/06. I often watch my wife sleep, and at night, hold her hand. At this point in our life and her battle with cancer, I know I've done everything I can do to help her over the last 2 years. I've come to the realization that it is all up to God and whatever His will is. All the gamut of emotions have already run through my mind many times. I've had to focus on what I CAN do, not what I can't. I've shown my love with a simple hug many times, and I will continue to look only at the positive, otherwise, I could go nuts very quickly.

I'm not ready for our 35 yr. marraige to end yet, but then, it's up to HIM not me, so I have to believe He knows whats best for both of us. Watching her die? No, she's sleeping and I'm watching the cancer take her ever so slowly. I prefer to say I'm watching my wife, sleep, which she needs. Accent the positive, never the negative, pray often, cry when you need to.

Hi Larsmi:  My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer in October, 2007.  We've been married almost 29 years & have 2 boys.  I, too, am not ready to lose this wonderful man; but you are so right.  It is NOT up to us.  We have learned to really appreciate every single day together and to not sweat the "small stuff".  It is absolutely imperative to put your faith in God and to just love each other the best way we can.  I just wanted you to know that your words really struck me about watching your wife sleep (and not watching her die).  I can tell that the two of you must have a very deep love for each other & for God.  May all of us who are in the same situation be just as blessed.  Take care.  You are in my prayers.

i am 51 yrs old. i was married for 18 yrs when in 1992 at the age of 45 my husband died suddenly of a heart attack. i was not ready for our marriage to end either. nor were my 2 children 11 yrs and 15 yrs old at the time of his death. just 3 short months ago i was diagnosed with breast cancer. my children are now adults but they don't want to lose their only living parent. i did not choose to get breast cancer, i did not choose to lose my husband and become widowed at 36 with no job skills or money. i put myself through nursing school and both children graduated from college with bachelor's degrees and are now part of our working world. we are all dealt cards whether good hands or bad we have no choice but to play what we are dealt. the only thing that has kept me sane is something my husband told me years ago when at the age of 25 i had to have a hysterectomy and wanted more children. he said-" there is a reason for everything". "we may not know the reason now or ever but God has a plan for all of us." i know the reason now. God knew my husband would be taken from us and there is no way i could have made it with another mouth to feed. two children was it for me. one more thing i have lived by for the past 16 years without by beloved husband. don't dwell on what could have been,but rather be thankful for the years you had with our loved one. it is better to have loved once than to never have love at all. be happy for all the memories and the 29 wonderful years you have had. i only had 18 yrs. there's always someone worse off than you . you could be both dying of cancer and your children would have no parent at all. like mine will. be strong, be brave and be happy you get to say good bye. i did'nt get to say good bye to my husband.may God bless you and keep you strong. you are in my prayers.

hey guys I had a long battle with cancer I made it so there is always hope. But what just struck me is the word dies, It may help to think of it as the beginig  I sure do. I was stage 4 twice and yet here I am . Sometimes things just take that turn and no-one knows why or has answers ; just might have something to do with those little prayers too. I am 54 I have 5 kids 24-31  7 grand kids. When  I felt sorry for me I took a hard look at my life. Because I had a life. Be thank ful for that and blessed that the children are happy and healthy. I saw a few kids maybe only 6-8 years old That made me wonder. Ya what I have. Well good luck to you never give up and I hope evrything turns out for you. Bless ya  :) Mike