When you're tending to a loved one with cancer, it's easy to forget an important rule: You need to take care of yourself, too. Here are some good ways to do that:

• Make time to renew yourself. Save part of each day to do something you love--take a 10-minute walk outdoors, have a cup of tea with a friend, or spend just 5 minutes by yourself doing deep breathing in a quiet room.
• Take good care of your body. Watch your nutritional needs as you do those of your loved one. Eat healthy foods, especially fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and low-fat or nonfat dairy items. Exercise when you can, even if only for a few minutes.
• Stay in touch with how you are feeling emotionally. Build a support network for yourself made up of trusted friends and family with whom you can talk openly.
• If you are feeling sad, depressed, worried, or anxious, seek counseling with a licensed social worker or therapist.
• People want to help you through this time, so let them. Make specific suggestions about what they can do.
• Support healthy independence in the person you're helping. That can benefit both of you. Caregiving does not mean doing everything for your loved one.
• Connect with other caregivers. You'll gain strength and comfort in the understanding of those in similar situations.
  
  You may be experiencing caregiver stress from difficulties in communicating with health care professionals, especially physicians. These strategies may help:
  Get informed about your loved one's condition. Write down questions before appointments so you will not forget them.
• Use a tape recorder at appointments to help remember what was said, or bring a notepad and write down key points from the visit.
• If you have a lot to discuss with a doctor or nurse, make a consultation appointment. Then she or he can set aside enough time to meet with you.
• Learn the routine at the doctor's office or hospital to make the system work for you, not against you.
• Separate your frustration about not being able to help your loved one as much as you would like to from your feelings about the doctor or health care team. You are all on the same side and need to work together.
• Show your appreciation for the health care team's efforts by saying "thanks," writing a note, or even bringing in a plate of cookies every now and then.