Essential to Being a Caregiver: Taking Care of Yourself

Helping someone who is being treated for cancer requires understanding, patience, and energy. As a caregiver, you take on numerous roles, often becoming part advocate, nurse, organizer, and financial analyst, in addition to maintaining your other responsibilities. In the midst of all the roles that you take on, it is easy to forget an important rule: you need to take care of yourself. Caregiver burn-out can occur even when caring for a dearest loved one. For this reason, you are encouraged to nurture yourself and to make the time to recharge your mind, body, and spirit.

Here are some tips to help you take care of you:

Make Time for Yourself

Remember to take care of and be kind to yourself. The job you are performing is difficult and can be taxing, both physically and emotionally. It’s important for you to have personal quality time, to do whatever you like, and to recharge and renew yourself. Give yourself at least 15 to 30 minutes each day to do something “just for you” – something you enjoy, such as walking, reading, stretching, doing relaxation exercises, or talking with a friend. You’ll be surprised at how even small breaks will rejuvenate you and make you feel less stressed and fatigued.

As a caregiver, you have many responsibilities, and it is easy to feel overwhelmed, especially during the holidays or while planning a family event. Simplify your to-do list during busy times. For example, have a quiet holiday dinner instead of hosting a formal affair. If you invite family and friends over, have them pitch in. Remember, they want to help you through this time. If you’re relaxed, your loved one will feel better and be better able to enjoy himself or herself, too. 

Express Your Thoughts

You may have many thoughts about your caregiving experiences. It is healthy to express them, whether the thoughts are negative or positive. One way to do this is to write in a journal. This is a great way to express your emotions, fears, and dreams. Putting your feelings in writing can also give you a greater sense of well-being and may actually improve your health. For more information on writing in a journal, click on Writing in a Journal. Some caregivers also find the practice of reciting affirmations helpful in relieving stress. For a list of affirmations, click on How to Use Affirmations.

Don't Ignore Your Feelings, Seek Support

Be aware of how you are feeling. Keep in mind, first and foremost, that you are not alone. Reach out to family and friends, and seek support from other caregivers. There are support groups that meet in person, by phone, and on the Internet. To learn more about organizations that sponsor caregiver support groups in your area, go to the  Caregiver Support Groups area of this website. To trade advice and share experiences with other caregivers online, visit the Online Community for caregivers at this website.

Hard as you may try, it is possible you will feel overwhelmed by the stresses of caregiving. If you feel you are under a lot of stress, talking with a counselor, psychologist, or other mental health professional can help you find ways to cope.  Speaking with a professional is also an outlet for your feelings. If you experience changes in your feelings that last for more than 2 weeks, such as persistent feelings of hopelessness, moodiness, or sadness that won't go away, or any of the other signs of clinical depression, you should let your health care provider know.  To learn more about the signs of depression, review the following article: Be Aware of the Signs of Depression.

Support Your Loved One's Independence

Even though your loved one may need a substantial amount of care, there still may be things he or she can do himself or herself. Support your loved one’s independence as much as possible. Caring for somebody should not necessarily entail doing everything for them. New technologies and ideas provide options that help promote a healthy level of independence.

If your loved one is able to walk around the home, concern about his or her safety can be a source of tension. If your loved one is living with you, it is important to create a safe space for him or her. Provide adequate lighting for all walkways and stairways. Clear the floor of anything he or she may trip on. Install nonslip surfaces in the bathroom and handlebars in the tub or shower. If your loved one is living in his or her own home, it is important to perform a home safety inspection for your peace of mind as well as for him or her. 

Try to Relax

Caregiving responsibilities can create a lot of tension in your mind and body. There are easy relaxation exercises you can do that may help relieve tension and make you feel calmer. Click on Try Relaxation Exercises to learn more about them. Massage therapy also is a great way to relax and decrease anxiety. For more information about massage, click on Benefits of Massage Therapy.

You can also practice yoga, meditation, or deep breathing to calm your mind and body. Mind-body exercises, such as these, can give you a great sense of well-being and peace. For more information about yoga, click on Practicing Yoga.

Take Care of Your Body

Remember to take care of your body and keep it healthy and strong. One way to do this is to try to eat healthy meals. Pay attention to your own nutritional needs just as you do to those of your loved one. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep yourself well hydrated. 

Try to exercise when you can. Among its many health benefits, exercise can help reduce stress, increase energy, and improve physical health. For more information, click on Designing an Exercise Program.

Don’t neglect your own medical needs. Make the time to schedule regular checkups and screening tests. To keep track of your appointments and other events, click on Calendar.

Prepare for Doctor's Appointments, Stay Organized  

Keeping track of all the information connected with your loved one's illness can be overwhelming. Visit the Financial Support section of this website for help in understanding the ins and outs of health insurance and to get help with specific questions you may have. Explore the many online tools available at this website that can help you care for your loved one and be more organized, such as the Symptom Tracker, the Calendar, and the Medication Encyclopedia. Learn as much as you can. The more you know about your loved one’s condition, the more empowered you will feel. To learn more about your loved one's cancer, go to the Diagnosis and Treatment section of this website.

Going with your loved one to a doctor's appointment can be stressful. In order not to forget what you want to ask during the visit, keep a running list of questions at home so that you will not forget them. Review the questions to ask the doctor at this site, print them out, and take them with you. Consider taking a tape recorder or bring a notepad to appointments if there is a lot to discuss and you're concerned you'll forget something.

For more information about taking care of yourself, go to the following links:

Be Aware of the Signs of Depression

Benefits of Massage Therapy

Designing on Exercise Program

How to Use Affirmations

Practicing Yoga

Try Relaxation Exercises

Writing in a Journal

References 

1. "Care for the Family Caregiver: A Place to Start."  Health Plan of New York and National Alliance for Caregiving.  December 2005.  http://www.caregiving.org/pubs/brochures/CFC.pdf.  Accessed May 2006.

2. "Home Design."  American Association of Retired Persons (AARP).  http://www.aarp.org/families/home_design/.  Accessed May 2006.