We are all sexual beings. Regardless of age or health, human beings are capable of sexual pleasure. Illness may affect how you express your sexuality, but it needn't end your ability to experience and enjoy it.
Whether you have a regular sexual partner or not, you may be concerned about the effect of cancer treatment on your present or future sex life. Various treatments cause different changes—many of which are temporary and can be dealt with effectively.
You cannot get or transmit cancer by touching, hugging, kissing, or other sexual activity. And remember: There are many ways to express love, enjoy physical pleasure, and feel close.
Basic Facts
- Increased stress can lower your desire for sex.
- You can show love in many ways other than through a sexual act.
- Birth control is essential if you or your partner is fertile, as your cancer treatment may damage a fetus.
- Becoming pregnant while on chemotherapy is never recommended. If you hope to become pregnant after completing treatment, discuss it with your doctor first. Some people preserve specimens of their sperm or ova as a precaution in case their fertility is damaged or lost. Ask your doctor if this is appropriate for your situation.
- Chemotherapy and radiation can reduce vaginal secretions. Water-based lubricants, such as KY Jelly, can help.
- Hormone changes caused by chemotherapy can result in itching, burning, or dryness of vaginal tissue.
- Some medications can decrease sexual desire or cause physical changes in the genital region, such as less feeling due to decreased blood flow.
- If your white blood counts or platelets are too low, your doctor may tell you to stop having sex for a few days or take special precautions.
- Talk with your doctor about how your specific treatment plan might affect your sex life.
Your Sexuality
- Take the pressure off sexual performance and concentrate on intimacy through touching and expressing your feelings.
- Tell your partner about your feelings and concerns. Be open about your feelings of fear, pain, or frustration. Then ask your partner about his or her feelings. You may be surprised to find that your partner is more accepting of your situation than you are and can be a great source of comfort.
- Be open while you are engaging in sexual activity. Let your partner know if something doesn't feel good or if there is something you'd particularly like. Work together for mutual pleasure and comfort as you focus on the beauty and intimacy of the present moment.
Having Sex
- Choose a time of day when you feel well rested. Take your pain medication an hour before sexual activity.
- Take a warm bath or shower beforehand; this will help you relax—or try giving each other a massage.
- Don't be hurried; pace yourself during sexual activity so that you don't tire.
- Your body is covered with many nerve endings. For a more pleasurable experience, use your sense of touch to its fullest.
- Deep breathing can make you feel better and have more energy and vitality. Enjoy this activity with your partner before and during sexual activities.
- Use your imagination and try something new, such as just looking into each other's eyes or touching each other lightly with your fingertips.
- You may want to speak with a psychologist, counselor, or sex therapist about any concerns you have.
See also Chemotherapy's Potential Effect on Sexual Organs and Frequently Asked Questions About Sexuality and Cancer.